Dreams Vs Plans

We all have dreams, wanting to follow our parents wishes, wanting to start up business in areas of interest, falling in love, wanting to get married have children, moving into a permanent non-rental house, winning the lottery, buying that car of your dreams, the list could be quite endless. These are all wishes that we would like to accomplish but the plans as we grow change irrevocably. I wanted to put up billboards and have them rented out. Well, where that plan ended one wonders. I then had the dream of wanting to put up a chocolate factory, I had all the laid out plans..that also fizzled out. A smart sister of mine then tells me to write down all the dreams and Plans I had, if they are feasible, they can be worked on.

Of course my plans are feasible….see,
1. BillBoards
2. Chocolate Factory
3. Cake and Coffee Restaurant
4. Coffee Bar
5. Just a Bar
6. String of Coffee shops with Supermarkets on all up country routes
7. Cupcake Shop (this is a combined idea)

Now here I am, hoping to have at least fulfilled part of these dreams…but to look at this at a glance, any romantic heart could ask, where in those plans do I have time for myself. Well- I also realised that. But on my defence, my time is best spent around doing things that I love. I will gain satisfaction from attaining my passion, but in the eventuality that romance finds itself en route, I shall not say no to it provided that it is there to compliment what it will find and not aim to create something completely new and baffling.

Well then, i pose the question to you. “what are your dreams and how do they measure against your plans?” Are your dreams inspiring and fun? Will they make you happy? Will they lead you to reaching that long list you have written out to achieve? Have you budgeted for obstacles that may stand in your way? Have you created solutions to counter the obstacles?

Even as i write this, i understand that our Dreams and Plans are intertwined and do go hand in hand. What we fail to listen to how they measure in the real world. We also fail to put a timetable on them hence we keep procrastinating. How will we keep track that we have failed? We should not lie to ourselves that just because we have not yet done the dream means we still have the opportunity to attain it.If we put a limit to at what point in life we should have attained the dream, then we can be able to count ourselves as successful. I count myself as unsuccessful in wanting to put up billboards, because at the time i thought of starting the business, there were few billboard signs around town and it wasn’t expensive to own one. Now, it is just almost impossible as most of the signage is owned by advertising companies. I do hope to attain the rest though. I have a plan against the dream.

 

 

ANAM CARA

Friendships are the most unexpected things in life like love. You surprise me daily with your quirks, with your intelligence, with the way you easily interpret something especially when I am plagued with indecision. You know me, even the parts that I think I have hidden from people. You know.. I still believe I have deep layers that are unopened and unshared with the world but you do not let me hide that and that scares me well because I became comfortable around you. I know I do not need to hide myself even though I still do. But deep down, I know you offer a safe space, a comfortable space. This is the reason why I called you ANAM CARA. You offer a friendship without boundaries. I never expected to even get this close to you. I learn from you more often.

You are fresh like flowers blooming at dawn, interesting as a streak of sunshine bursting through the clouds in the morning. I can’t help but put a smile on my face when I think of you. You remind me of a coconut; tough exterior but loving, kind, soft interior. Even though a coconut is hard to crack, one usually can not wait to experience the amazing surprise it offers inside. Day by day, I get a crack into your personality and I can’t wait to experience all of you. You can be elusive, but I have learnt to give you space even though sometimes I will complain it’s too much. You see, you began on high gear, talking to me every day and well, who can blame me for wanting the same treatment to continue. I like CONSISTENCY (like the other French guy on Instagram). Then most of all, your love for God is surely the most attractive quality about you. I am grateful to have met you and I pray I can be more than a friend to you. I do not even know a little of what I offer you but well, this is me.

 

Heaviness of my heart

My heart is heavy full of all my heartbreaks within my life.

My heart is heavy because I do not know how to voice my feelings.

My heart is heavy because I hold on to hurt like a granary of food.

My heart is heavy because I hold onto hurt like a badge of honor.

My heart is heavy and I have grown to like the burden.

My heart is heavy and I relish the feelings of despair and disillusionment it brings me.

My heart is heavy and the look of sadness brings me comfort.

My heart is heavy and I continously fight anyone who tries to relieve my burden.

When u see me passby you,

And I look at you with my eyes full of sadness,

A lopsided smile that may look genuine,

A slight wave of the hand to draw your attention from ingenuity of my smile

While u might be tempted to query the state of my wellbeing

With some misguided hope that this time I might lighten my burdens to you

Barely listening, but planning to offer a solution I do not need

Please know that I enjoy lonely walks

All because alone I have no one to disappoint.

Alone, I find solace and comfort that only my heavy heart can provide.

 

Dreams by Paulo Coelho

My favorite writer and his words just so so inspiring. I love to keep his wisdom nearby and also share it wit you. So here goes

Dreams: the 12 steps

When Joseph Campbell created the expression “follow your blessing,”� he was reflecting an idea that seems to be very appropriate right now. In “The Alchemist,”� this same idea is called “Personal Legend.”�
Alan Cohen, a therapist who lives in Hawaii, is also working on this theme. He says that in his lectures he asks those who are dissatisfied with their work and seventy-five percent of the audience raise their hands. Cohen has created a system of twelve steps to help people to rediscover their “blessing”� (he is a follower of Campbell):

1. Tell yourself the truth

Draw two columns on a sheet of paper and in the left column write down what you would love to do. Then write down on the other side everything you’re doing without any enthusiasm. Write as if nobody were ever going to read what is there, don’t censure or judge your answers.
2. Start slowly, but start
Call your travel agent, look for something that fits your budget; go and see the movie that you’ve been putting off; buy the book that you’ve been wanting to buy. Be generous to yourself and you’ll see that even these small steps will make you feel more alive.
3. Stop slowly, but stop
Some things use up all your energy. Do you really need to go that committee meeting? Do you need to help those who do not want to be helped? Does your boss have the right to demand that in addition to your work you have to go to all the same parties that he goes to? When you stop doing what you’re not interested in doing, you’ll realize that you were making more demands of yourself than others were really asking.
4. Discover your small talents
What do your friends tell you that you do well? What do you do with relish, even if it’s not perfectly well done? These small talents are hidden messages of your large occult talents.
5.Begin to choose
If something gives you pleasure, don’t hesitate. If you’re in doubt, close your eyes, imagine that you’ve made decision A and see all that it will bring you. Now do the same with decision B. The decision that makes you feel more connected to life is the right one – even if it’s not the easiest to make.
6.Don’t base your decisions on financial gain
The gain will come if you really do it with enthusiasm. The same vase, made by a potter who loves what he does and by a man who hates his job, has a soul. It will be quickly sold (in the first case) or will stay on the shelves (in the second case).
7. Follow your intuition
The most interesting work is the one where you allow yourself to be creative. Einstein said: “I did not reach my understanding of the Universe using just mathematics.”� Descartes, the father of logic, developed his method based on a dream he had.
8. Don’t be afraid to change your mind
If you put a decision aside and this bothers you, think again about what you chose. Don’t struggle against what gives you pleasure.
9. Learn how to rest
One day a week without thinking about work lets the subconscious help you, and many problems (but not all) are solved without any help from reason.
10. Let things show you a happier path
If you are struggling too much for something, without any results appearing, be more flexible and follow the paths that life offers. This does not mean giving up the struggle, growing lazy or leaving things in the hands of others – it means understanding that work with love brings us strength, never despair.
11. Read the signs
This is an individual language joined to intuition that appears at the right moments. Even if the signs point in the opposite direction from what you planned, follow them. Sometimes you can go wrong, but this is the best way to learn this new language.
12. Finally, take risks!
The men who have changed the world set out on their paths through an act of faith. Believe in the force of your dreams. God is fair, He wouldn’t put in your heart a desire that couldn’t come true.

 

Fruits of the spirit

The fruits of the spirit are love, joy, peace, faithfulness, kindness, patience, goodness, gentleness and safe control. If we let the spirit do it’s work, it can help us attain the fruits. Have this as a mantra for each day

Love: it is one of the Spirit’s major working goals to bring God’s love to you, plant it in your heart, and help you to believe that you are somebody precious to the Lord. And then he inspires and empowers you to love other people. Let the Spirit lead you today to celebrate God’s love for you and to share his love with another person.

Joy: Let the Spirit so lead you today that the people around you will wonder what you’re so happy about!

Peace: The Spirit each day gives me the calm assurance that I am God’s child and that everything will be all right.

Patience: the Holy Spirit makes it one of his personal goals to help us relax and let God develop his wonderful plans on his timetable. As he is patient with us, we should stop being such perfectionists with other people. Let the Spirit lead!

Kindness: we shower love and kindness upon our loving God and upon the people he allows into our lives. Let the Spirit lead you today to treat someone better than he or she deserves!

Goodness: in other words, learning to desire and choose and value what God desires, chooses, and values. Let the Spirit lead you today to show your goodness.

Faithfulness: May the Spirit lead you to trust in Christ with all your heart, today and always.

Gentleness: let the Spirit of the Lord bring forth his holy fruit in you and lead you to gentle words and gentle actions today.

Self Control: God actually helps us to control our thirst and all our other appetites as well. Let the Spirit lead you today!

 

Temptations

How do we fight against temptations.?Everyday we get assailed by temptations, following us around, teasing us, threatening us, marauding us…. Temptation is one thing we should all run away from, but since we can’t run away we need measures to help us stay away from what tempts us. What are ur biggest temptations? Mine is food. I can nog help myself when it comes to food. It’s not that I eat under pressure, or when I am happy or as a consolation..,. It is none of that of actually all of that. I try up fast but my love for food overwhelms my need. I try to diet but give up, push to the next day that never does appear. So day by day I fail myself and I feel a failure. But I am using the bible readings to help me sort out my brain hiccups. I hope I will be fine, I pray I will be fine.

 

Friendship is for life

Friendships are the most unexpected things in life like love. You surprise me daily with your quirks, I never expected to get even this close to you. I learn more and more from you buli daily. You are fresh like flowers blooming at dawn, interesting as a streak of sunshine bursting through the clouds in the morning. You remind me if a coconut, tough exterior, but loving, surprising, awesome interior. Even though a coconut is hard to crack, one usually can’t wait for the amazing surprise it offers inside. Day by day, I get a crack into your personality and I can’t wait to experience all of you. I can see what Martha saw in you, and she had good taste we can both agree, since she has me😉😉. Your love for God is one very amazing quality about you, and I want to learn more from you. You are a God sent for me, because I believe God puts people in our lives to be his spokesperson for when we ask him for answers. I only pray I listen and know God gas answered me. But best believe, I have gotten answers about a number if things i asked Him. I want to say thank you, but it’s more of I am grateful to have met you and I pray I can be a good friend to you too.

 

My love letter to Happiness

I am excited to have you in my life. I have searched and looked for you, held out on tying myself down with anyone because it never felt right. Believing, hoping, praying and sometimes even losing hope that you would find your way to me. When you did, I felt different..that day was one if my best days with you. A smile never left my face, even consequent days later, it only became better. How could I not fall in love with you when you showed me such kindness, such respect, such attention. You called me beautiful, I didn’t believe you when you did but seems my body did because I know feel one of the most beautiful women in the world. You do make me feel beautiful inside, I only need to keep trusting myself that I am that way. I would like to fully open up to you but I do not know how. I protect my fears, disappointments, joys because I am worried people will use them against me or use them to leave me. I have a huge fear of abandonment I sometimes call it “separation phobia”. U see most times that I go quiet in the morning, that is because I do not want you to leave, but then I also do not want to be too Clingy so I shut down emotionally. Deep down I am crying for you to hold me longer because when you do, the world feels right. I am no longer scared, afraid….I find the strength to carry on. I am a strong believer in fairy tales, happy endings and for the first time in my life, I see that as a possibility. You made that possible. Most if the good things in my life are firsts, first time I spent a whole night with a guy, first orgasm I experienced , first multiple orgasms i got, first time anyone male ever called me “sweetie”, first time I was treated like a lady by a male, first time a guy called me beautiful… My list is long. You are my first, and I sincerely hope I can get to call put my first boyfriend. I want to mate for life like the swans, I want eternity with you. My heart is full whenever you are around and it aches when you are away. Be my miracle, my love savior. Be the missing piece to my puzzle.

 

My inner most feelings

God I am scared more than anything that I will not amount to anything. I have failed to find a job and I am mad Lord that you have not helped me. I lack guidance or maybe I am the one not listening. I dream, wake up, all still worrying why I am going nowhere. Lord, I am losing hope in everything and doubting everything about myself. I feel I am a failure at everything around me and I am just alive to go through motions. I want a fulfilled life Lord, ur word says “be still and know he is God”, “wait on The Lord” I have these sayings within me but my hope is beginning to fail me. My heart Lord is full of tears, it’s sad , it’s burdened and I do not want to feel this way. I want happiness, I want joy, I want to rejoice in a number of things Lord, that I am alive, that I have people around me that love me, that your in my life, that I have courage to face anything. Right now, I do not have that but I know I should have it, I know I should be thinking happy thoughts but I do not see why I should lie to my head when my heart feels different, why should I lie, I want to be truthful so that I may know exactly how I feel and not bottle it up in a bundle of pretense joy. Move me from this phase Lord, show me where u should be heading, direct me, speak to me, make me listen Lord if I am not listening. I do not want to miss out on the good things in life because I am angry at you, the world, people, my misfortunes…help me Lord

 

Silence and anger

When should u speak out and when should u stay silent. Revenge is a dish best served cold but read it as reply to lies are best made when the anger is cold. Reason seems to show more easily.

 

Finding Happiness

At what point do you know that your life has changed for the better. At what point do you know that the people you have met in your life have changed the way you think about so many things. Do you take time to notice, record, remember the little incidents in your life that have made a difference? Do you know how much is happening around you do not even realise? Our lives change every second of every day, each in a different way, for a different purpose and changes our lives, our thinking, understanding and even appreciation of so much.

I was reading a blog of my favorite author, “Paulo Coelho” about “what is a miracle?” One respondent mentioned that,- “A miracle is communicating with others and finding oneself.” The more we interact with people, we get to learn something about ourselves that we didn’t know existed. I met someone I call happiness, because that is exactly the feeling I get when I am with him, happiness. He came at a time I didn’t even expect him, swept me off my feet like the gallant gentleman he is. He feels like home to him. When I am in his arms, I understand what the books always used to say about feeling at home, cared for, safe, belonging. He is my home, my safe refuge. He is my miracle.

He came at a time when I had lost hope in finding a man who saw beyond just the sex… It does feel like he sees more of me than I realize or give him credit for. But now that I have him, I feel like I am scaring him away, or overthinking and wishing for more than he is ready to offer. I am supposed to be learning patience but at times it is hard, I just want it to be magical as it was the first time….we flowed, didn’t think it, just liked what we both had going on.

This brings me to mention that when we have something good going on, we should relax, take a deeeeeep breath and enjoy the wonderful moments. Don’t ask for more than you have because u might lose it all.

I have found my happiness, I do not know yet if it’s the love that I have been waiting for but I am glad to have at least found and know what happiness with a wonderful man feels like. I have spent my life looking for this kind of feeling and I am grateful to have found it. Do not give up hope on finding your happiness keep looking, it will suprise you.